Think of yourself as a divine tuning fork in the nest of creations universe. At our core that’s what we all are you know. It’s simply that each standing, physically manifested tuning-fork is, tuned differently! Then again, there are some that are tuned so, that their action surpasses all levels of commonality!
In the vast-past, in those years of my own long ago, I always knew on some subliminal level that I was different. That something within me just didn’t see the world, or people in general the way that most others did.
Where others always saw what was essentially pointed right at the end of their noses; I was one who just inherently saw something within what was there. Something deeper. Something much more diverse, interwoven, something more complicated in people, places, and in things.
Where others noticed a raindrop on the window, I would look inside that raindrop settled still on the pane and I took notice of the streams of colors, the movement of waves, particles, and even in my mind saw the infinite complexity of the molecules that collectively made it what it was.
I have always seen people in this exact same way!
Never once have I ever thought of another soul, in-so-ever as being just simply they. Just as being like a fender face on a 57 Chevy.
To me, people, ALL people, were always complex. Everyone was always an infinite compilation of experiences, emotions, transitions, changes, fates, successions, and withdrawals. Everyone to me harbored the super-charged engines of change in love and hate, gladness and sadness, angst and anonymity of prose and purpose.
Well, then there were those, like I’ve always seen myself. We who were always just, different.
The poets all said that such people, we souls, were among they, “the outcasts” who indeed marched to another sort of drummer and who just moved to another calling than most, “normal people.”
It took what had seemed half a lifetime to align and find my sort of tribe. Those who were toned and tuned as was I. Those who moved, shadowed, and articulated to an entirely higher and different frequency and vibration than most others.
The action wore me down, as it wears others such as me down, faster, much more intensely. Energy comes and wanes quicker. Thoughts and dream-weaving come like breathing and eating to us. We feel intensely. We move with supposition. Our empathy is deliberate and unrequited. We seek and never quite find to completion. We sense at such an intense level and degree, that its very action storms our souls and spirits.
This is in part, what it is like to be different, and those such as me have always sensed that we were so. Its why we gather and hunker together as we do. Its why we identify and share with one another as we do. Its why we use labels and names through which to identify one another as we do. Its why we discern one another and appreciate one another with the soul and intensity that we do.
We know each other well, and as my father used to say: with those as we: “There is no bullshitting a bull-shitter.”
We regain of our fortitude and our essence in discreet and hidden ways.
We realign and reset ourselves with much more intensity and more frequency than more “regular people” would and do.
As so many others, we need one another to identify and provide some sense of meaning and direction to and for ourselves.
Are we different? Yes.
What are we?
Well, we know….
Your objective may just be to eventually find out. If you dare.
Because, if you search so fervently for an explanation of such things.
Perhaps you are too.
Magister William Devereaux Allan
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